Who am I, that You would remember me, God? Who am I, that you would remember me, my friends? I’m so undeserving of this grace and love you’ve shown me. God has been teaching me so much about love these past few weeks from you. You, meaning the you who met up with me, the you who emailed/texted to encourage me, the you who sent me gifts in the mail, the you who joined my ministry team, the you who skyped with me, the you who encouraged me with worship song lyrics/Bible verses, the you who gchatted me, the you who prayed for me, the you who shared your life-changing story with me, the you who was willing to receive and read my support letter, the you who renewed friendship with me, the you who gave me your time, the you who gave me your undivided attention, the you who gave me your love. I’m so incredibly thankful to God for you. Yes, YOU, the one reading this post right now.
This week…was/is my roughest one yet. Emotionally, I was at my lowest last night and this morning. My heart was starting to constrict and doubt overcame me. My need to be in control and see results drowned me in anxious thoughts and bitterness. But today, God reminded me of His unfailing love again. Some of you know that my primary love language is “gifts” followed closely by “time.” It came to my realization today, that every single week since I started this MPD journey full-time, God showed me love using the love languages I respond most to.
Week 1: Gift came in the mail. (Not the Starbucks card, it’s the book and note underneath, LOL!) Interestingly enough, when I opened the book and read the daily devotional on the day I received it, it was like God was speaking directly to my heart: ”…your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anything…Stop all your striving, and watch to see what I will do. I am the Lord!”
Week 2: Trip to Philly/ New York City. My friends gave me their time (even those who were studying for exams), their days, their energy, their money. They opened their homes to me. They shared their lives with me. On this week, I renewed 2 friendships and saw God’s power and ability to change lives for the better. New ministry partners.
Week 3: Gift in the mail and a friend gave me his time even though he needed to study for a test. Letters in the mail offering encouraging words. New ministry partners.
Week 4 (current): Gifts in the mail, letters, new ministry partners.
I’m sorry. I really don’t have any words to say except…thank you. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for loving me.
I’m also taken aback that many times, my ministry partners apologize to me saying, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I don’t have a lot to give you right now but here’s what I have.” And when I look at the amount they give, their generosity traumatizes me (in a good way…). I am reminded constantly of:
The Widow’s Offering (Mark 12:41-44)
Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”
It’s not how much, my friends, it’s your heart. And I know God sees your heart because I do too. To me, no gift is a small gift. Honestly. Money is a gift. Prayer is a gift. Though I do have to crunch numbers to meet goals so that I can go to East Asia…to be honest, I see names, faces, and hearts more clearly than I see the numbers. And your hearts mean the world to me.
So thank you. Thank you for showing me Christ’s love. Thank you for reminding me how to love. As I’m still learning how to love, I hope that you’ll be patient with me also. I’m praying for you.
For His Glory,
P.S. Would you pray for me also? That I will continue to seek God and trust that He will provide. I am a control freak. And when you throw a control freak into a situation she can’t possibly control, she’ll go crazy if not for God’s help. Another prayer request, please pray for my grandfather. Not going to go into details too much but please pray for him as well as my family on my father’s side. Thanks, my peeps! I appreciate you. And I love you.